If I get to decide...

If I get to decide - you will either be cremated or if not you will NOT have an open casket. After witnessing my first wake - and what will be my first funeral today - I don't understand why anyone would want a wake or an open casket.

I do not want my last memory of you as - what I thought looked like - a waxed version of a person. Your soul will be with our heavenly Father - what is left is - as a friend said - a shell. Yes, I know this sounds heartless and cruel (let it be known I would never say this to ANYONE going through the loss of a loved one - it is just how I feel)

As we were at the wake, it seemed to me that all that happened was that people came and went, had what was casual conversation while there was a casket in the room. Why can't we just remember the person and give our condolences to the loved ones of the person that passed at the funeral? Why must we stand in a room and stare at what is left behind when we go to be with our Maker?

Let it be known that I am in agreement with BF (& from what I hear Brother as well) that I want to be cremated. I don't know if there is anythign in the bible about cremation (I will check with the Wise Man on it just to be certain) but I would think being that this is not our perfect body and it is only temporary that there would be no reason we could not be cremated.

That is that....

Drained....

So the last 5 days have been emotionally, physically & mentally draining... Husbands grandfather was admitted into the hospital on Saturday morning and told he only had a week to live. So we decided that we would go to the hospital on Sunday, since we had a birthday party that we were going to and we had already planned on seeing him then anyway.
So we get home from the party Saturday night and there is a message from his brother and from his mom, he grandfather will most likely not make it through the night. We call Nurse Neighbor and she comes over so stay at the house while Silly Pants and Monkey sleep. We took Mini C with us - we just didn't know how long we were going to be gone for and didn't want him to wake up with out me.
We book it to the hospital - when we get there his eyes are closed and they say he hasn't been a wake in a while. Husband gets next to him and he just opens his eyes - it was so wonderful. Then he cracked a joke - "I'm not done yet huh?" It was so wonderful that Husband was able to have that last moment with him - he was that last one his grandfather set eyes upon.

We stayed at the hospital till 12:30am Sunday morning...needless to say we were both exhausted when the boys woke up that morning. We decided that to maintain normalcy in the house we would bring the boys to Sunday school and then go to the hospital after that when we dropped the boys at BF's house. Well I got a call from church saying Monkey had a big accident and was embarrassed (which is odd because he had never had one that big) So I decide to just get both boys and go back to BF's - When I get back Husband calls the hospital to let them know we are coming now - He had died at 10:30am - 15 minutes before he called. So we left right away to get to the hospital. This whole thing is new to me - and being they never liked me much anyway it made it even weirder - I was there but I know they didn't want me there, but I was there for Husband and Husband only - I don't know what to say, do or whatever. It is all new and slightly confusing. I know it is sad when someone dies - however shouldn't it be a happy time too? If the person gets to a nice old age (and was able to see their great-grandchildren) shouldn't there be some sort of happiness for them, knowing that they are going to be with our maker? I know that we are sad and selfishly wanting them to be with us - but wouldn't a better reaction be "Bastard got there first!" =)
I am not usually a very black & white person but I feel like to ME this is a black & white issue. As long as the people I care about live a nice long life - when they die, Yes I will be sad and miss them but at the same time I am going to be so overjoyed that I know they are with Our Lord and Savior, living in their perfect body and enjoy the heavenly eternal life. So I have been pretty much just staying quiet, I know that my own thoughts are not that of others and I would never intentionally say or do anything that would cause more saddness right now then there already is.
So even though I was not close with him, because Husband is so upset (rightfully so) I am finding myself drained and unable to maintain a clear thought either through this time.
What's next?
The wake & funeral - they are this week, thankfully I was able to nail down someone to watch the boys for both - a big thank you to BF & Happy Mama! At least I know that Silly Pants and Monkey will be happy and having fun. Mini C with of course be with us - but at least that will give me something to focus on - since no one in that family talks to me....
So for now I will just stay quiet and reserved (Yes me!) and help Husband get through this rough time....
There are a few other things to post on relating to this, but that will be another time....

Crawling....

So today Mini C actually crawled forward...he didn't scoot, do the worm, he didn't just roll around and fall forward...he crawled - be it slowly but he did it...

So what next? A more watchful eye on that little guy - because once he truly realizes his potential I see him racing for his brothers at lightening speeds with no regard for location. Which in it self terrifies me...there are no more runs to the bathroom, down stairs to switch laundry, none of it - because you know the minute I do anything that is not within his eyesight he is going to book it - being that we have stairs...not a good thing...

Yes you may think "Why not put up a gate?" Yes very nice idea - however at the present moment the banisters on each side of the stairs do not match and the sizes are significantly different - so much so that a gate won't stay on. So I am left with keeping him with in arms reach when we are near stairs...which means....ALL the time bring that we have 3 sets of stairs...

Putting the new list of things I need to worry about aside - which is quite extensive and another blog of itself - this is wonderful, he has hit a new milestone and made a huge acomplishment. He is growing and it is such a blessing to be able to watch...but again I would like to say that it is all happening far to fast for my liking...I think a slower pace would be nice. So until next time....

Task oriented little one huh????

OK so my blond Monkey is a task oriented little guy - you give him a specific task and he will do it till it's done. Example - last Saturday we were at the corn maze at Minnesota Harvest and well in the maze all the corn is still on the stalks and dried out. So Husband took the husk off an ear and gave it to him - the boy walked the entire time (I think he had to switch to a new one at one point) picking the individual corn kernals off the cob - by the time we found our way out and were on the tractor back to the actual orchard he had just finished his second. He was in such a focus - I think I could have offered chocolate and he wouldn't have heard me!

So anyway - we were outside and Silly Pants & Monkey saw the leaves on the ground and said they wanted to rake a pile like Clifford the Big Red Dog - so they could jump in them....Well I got the two rakes we had out and gave each of them one....Below is a photo journal of how it all went...

As you can see from the above - Monkey did the raking - now for HIS reward!

Heading for the pile he worked so hard to create!

throwing the leaves & Rolling around in them...

Watching him was so delightful...apparently to Silly Pants too...because guess who came over and saw all the fun Monkey was having...(he hadn't participated previously because he didn't want to rake)

Silly Pants now gets his hands dirty and helps rebuild the pile so they both can play!

Now they both are enjoying the fruit of their labor. To the left - notice Silly Pants is mid air in the photo!! Well Monkey - he has already landed!! The two of them were having so much fun - I love seeing the way they interact -

This picture pretty much wrapped up the day - the two of them flying high with their energy, their love of being outside, their love of Jesus (Silly Pants yelled on more than one occasion for Jesus to blow on the trees so they could have more leaves!), their love of each other & their love of life!

So as Mini C & I gazed on with smiles and cheers - I know that I need to cherish these moments - let them get dirty, scrape a knee, get grass stains & wrestle because there will be a day - not for many years - that they will no longer play as they do now with each other...yes with hopes they will still play with one another - but it will be in a different manner - more mature, more structured - so we enjoy these days - the weather that is here and the ability to get out and be together! If only I could put a brick on their little heads to slow down the process...

Monkey will be 3 in only a matter of weeks - Silly Pants will be 5 in January - well Mini C is already 7 months....it all flies by.....

My favorite time....

Autumn....it truly is the best time of the year...I love the leaves falling, the change of color, the options for clothing! This is the time of year I think my body temperature is truly as equal as it will get. Anyone that knows me - knows that I am a living, breathing, walking furnace (well that's what Husband calls me) I wear my chaco's until the first snow fall - and the only reason I stop then is because I can't expect my boys to wear shoes if I don't....the things I give up as a mom! =) It's like the world is saying get ready for the cold - but be sure to enjoy me for just a few more weeks...The only down fall to autumn is that it is dark so early - by the time Husband gets home from work the sun is down - so that is probably the only that I can count as a con for this tiem of year....but hey - it means that we have to be more creative in our activities we want to do as a family during the week!!

Overall I love this time...I mean how can you look out side and see the beautiful trees - the colors!! and not just know that God exisits?? I mean the sheer beauty of it all....mind boggling how someone could believe that it is all chance....and not God's glorious canvas spread out for our viewing....I will forever wonder.....

The crispness in the air - sheer comfort for me! So today (as like the last many days) we took a walk before lunch - burn off energy (which mind you has never actually happened...I am holding out hope!) get a little excersize, breath the fresh air, have a little fun & today we decided to collect cool looking leaves! (not my photo - I forgot to take one so I am using someon elses!)

So we go down Judial to this little pond (although I don't know if any fish inhabit it - kind of gross looking to me....) and there are lots of tree's scattered around. It's a fun place for the boys to run around, play tag, hide & seek and roll around. I forgot my camera the last few times we went but I remembered it today and well - looking at the pictures just brings a smile to my face...they are so silly and goofy! So below are a few of the photos from our walk =) Enjoy....I know that I did =)

Mini C enjoying the weather! Monkey relaxing! Silly pants being....silly!!

The boys rolling around in the leaves....

Silly Pants is much faster at rolling than Monkey!
Silly Pants caught up to him!

Silly Pants taking a break from the rolling...

Monkey prouding showing off his leaf! -->

The Boys after we got home, having a snack and warming up...it was a bit crisp at noon....

Punkins???

On Saturday we went to the apple orchard and got apples and pumpkins (forgot my camera so didn't want to blog about it - but going back and won't forget the camera!!!)

So tonight we decided to carve the boys two little pumpkins (saving the huge one for later)

To start Monkey calls them Punkins - he sounds so darn cute! So we have started saying it like that....I know...but it's hard not to!

Monkey hording his "Punkin" Silly Pants getting ready!

So we get their pumpkins ready to go I carve off the tops and we start scooping...errr...when I say we I mean Husband and I - Silly Pants wouldn't touch the inside (even with major bribes!!) Monkey only wanted to take the seeds out of the pile Husband dug out (he knew I was going to roast them to eat!!) (ummmm......)

Honestly I think Mini C was more involved in the prepping of the pumpkins then his brothers -

What do you think?? Tasty??

We get them all scooped out and we draw out different eyes, noses, & mouths so that they can pick what they want us to carve....I think that honestly took about 20 minutes...there is apparently a lot of thought that goes into deciding what your pumpkin will look like...Who would'a thunk??
Monkey "helping me carve his pumpkin!

We get to carving and get them all done up the way they want them - thankfully it was easy and actually quite fun!! Besides the fact that Silly Pants wanted nothing to do with the inside of the pumpkin - he is quite proud of what he picked and how it looks!

Monkey showing off his completed pumpkin!

Silly Pants' finished face!

Mini C had to show off his excitement about it all too!!

So as you can see we had a great night - lots of fun - carved pumpkins and wonderful family time....so until next time!!

Gerber...not that Grrreat!

Alright - a rant - a frustration - an angering situation - what should I call it?

So BF is watching the boys on Friday night - while I was waiting for Husband to finish what he was doing I was talking to her and feeding Mini C some Gerber Graduates puff things. So she asks if I knew where they are made? Good question right? I mean with all the scares from China and the tainted this and the contaminated that seriously when will it stop? (or when will we stop excepting things from this horrid place) (another issue for another time)
So I call the number on the container to ask - Amanda a very nice lady answered - I asked her where the the Gerber FOOD items grown and packaged? She tells me that ALL of the Gerber food is grown here - with exception to banana's which are grown in Costa Rica (I think I can live with that) and they are all processed in the good 'ol US of A. GREAT!! Thank you Amanda for the info I am so happy to hear that! Good bye!

So I hang up and tell BF the good news....but wait - she asks - "where are the containers made?" Excellent question - why didn't I think to ask that??? Because I was so happy about the food being USA!!
So I call back and get Amanda again (What are the chances!!) Amanda where are the containers - specifically the plastic ones made? Puts me on hold....music...pause....music...Jennifer?? yes?
I am sorry to tell you right now it says that that is proprietary information - can i get your info and call you back Monday when the appropriate people get in and can give me an answer - the computer is just saying it's proprietary. Ok! I can do that thanks...she takes my info and off with me night....

Monday comes....get a call....is this Jennifer?? yes....Jennifer this is Amanda from Gerber I am just calling you back about your question...Yes?? I am very sorry to tell you but they are telling me that it is proprietary information and will not release it. Seriously Amanda? They won't release it? Yes Jennifer I am sorry. Thank you Amanda for looking into it for me - I am sorry to say that I will no longer be using ANY of the Gerber products. I'm sorry to hear that Jennifer but I can understand...thank you thank you Goodbye.........

Are you FREAKING kidding me?? So I am sorry but if they are not releasing the info doesn't that seem a little fishy? A little weird??? Is that pretty much saying "WE PRODUCE THEM IN CHINA!!!"??? So as of now - I will no longer be buying any of their products.....sucky because we liked using the Graduate things....so I will look for another brand...and you bet I will be calling those companies to find out the same info.......

Until then - I will continue to MAKE all of Mini C's baby food (just as I did with Silly Pants & Monkey) and I will just stick to Cheerios's and Kix for the little finger snacks...for now........

One year older....

So today is my birthday - yep - I am 27 today. Seems kind of weird...I don't feel 27 - heck I don't even know what I feel...but 27 doesn't feel right. Now I don't have an issue with my age - I embrace it - I mean it's not like I have any control and well frankly if I wouldn't have gotten older I wouldn't have met Husband and I wouldn't have given birth to 3 beautiful boys. So really turning 27 is a blessing of sorts.

What's the plan for today? Well same stuff as normal - why wouldn't it be? Silly Pants has preschool - Monkey, Mini C & I have to go to ..... you guessed it Target...to get food. After that on to a moms group at church. Pretty boring I know - but it is life and life doesn't stop because I get another year older...

I think may favorite thing about my birthday is dinner!! Going to BF's to have my manicotti drooling.....!! She makes the best manicotti drooling....! This is the meal I have had since I was 12 - we only have it on my birthday - a puddle has now formed.....So after nap I will pack the boys up and of to BF's house we will go. That will be the highlight of my day - though that may seem sad and pathetic...it is NOT!!

So on with the day - the one that started with a happy birthday from my Husband (and well a 12am text from Princess wishing me a happy birthday) until next time....

Date Night....

So finally Husband and I got a date night....we haven't had an actual one since Christmas - when i was pg with Mini C. I have to say it was wonderful - long time coming. It is nice to be able to sit and enjoy a relaxing dinner and talk about things other than - I have to pee, I dropped my crayon, he's sitting to close to me, I'm hungry, I want pop, or any other thing those little boys come up with..

So the night started with BF & Prits coming over to watch all 3 boys...yes all 3 (seriously shocked we got them over here to do it!) Thankfully Mini C ate a little earlier than normal and fell asleep, so he was a no maintenance boy all night. So we left Silly Pants and Monkey to make BF go crazy - because when she is around they NEVER stop...they both get so darn excited and have to have her attention the whole time...any way that could be it's own blog.

So we went to Wildfire (we got birthday gift cards from them so we thought we would try it) (Oh did I mention this was a birthday date night?? His was Oct 5th and mine is coming up)

I was smart and made reservations...good thing I did the wait would have been 45 minutes. So we were seated right away - WONDERFUL!!

So we sit and the waitress brings us some bread and our water. We are looking at the menu and discussing what we want to drink and it hits me......I forgot my ID!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously? I mean my night to relax and have a drink with my Husband and I forget it?? Can we say brainless?? So I am sitting there frustrated wondering what I am going to do - I don't know if they are really strict and ask everyone (I mean I know I don't look 21!! Come on now....don't try to lie) So when the waitress gets back Brian asks her a question about beer - here's my chance....I say "this is so great this is our first night out in 6 months, my mom is with our three boys and well this is a long time coming" Smart huh??? I just layed that foundation for her...I'm a mom of 3 boys (I know I don't look 21) and well need I say more?

Brian orders his beer and I go ahead and order my Mai Tai....and voila!

She didn't ask and brought us our drinks...Now yes, it could just be she wouldn't have asked either way but at least I layed that foundation....So not 15 minutes later a married couple comes in and is stilling at a table near us, she is obviously not under 21 and neither is he...but they both got carded! Yea!

So anyway one with the date night story. Husband decided - Surf & Turf..(YUCK!!) Fillet Mignon & lobster tail - The fillet was amazing...didn't try the tail ( I mean it was still in the flippin tail!!!) and a HUGE baked potato. I have the Mushroom crusted pork chops with mashed baby reds. Can we say YUMMY!! The mushroom part was delicious - you could taste the baby bellas & shitake's in there...so yummy.....So we ate slowly with no rush or sense of urgency to leave.

Dinner is over and we are thinking...we're done let's finish our drinks and head out...nope can't do it she brings us the dessert tray and well....they had this amazing apple raspberry skillet pie thing with ice cream and homemade caramel sauce (seriously if you ever go have that!!!) So we order it and sit back....

As we are talking I see who looks to be Drummer Boy with his dad walking our way. So it is - I guess it could be expected being he and Happy Mama live less than a mile away. They are there with his family who is up from Iowa having a dinner - how nice....so Happy Mama comes over and we are able to talk for a few minutes before they leave...what a nice surprise...

So dessert comes....oh my....even better than we thought...we just kept eating it...I know we were both stuffed from our amazing dinner but seriously who in their right mind would let a delicious derssert such as that go to waste??? Certainly not either of us!!! So we finished it... Now being that I have not had anything with any major amount of alcohol in it - I was nursing my Mai Tai pretty slowly. So we were able to sit there talking and relaxing for another good while until I finished it....and you bet....I did finish that! And it was gooooood...

So we had a wonderful dinner and when we got home the boys were relaxing with BF and a movie - we put them to bed - then we went to bed......it was a really wonderful night and I am hoping we can do that again in a few months!

Ugg...

Why? Why can't make beautiful boys sleep in? They had been doing so well sleeping till almost 7am (yea I know to most standards that is not sleeping in - but if you had been used to a 5:30am wake up well then...) Today they came out of their room bright eyed and happy at 6am....toooooo earrrlyyyy!!! Add on to that the fact that Mini C is teething and not sleeping well (which in turn means I am not sleeping well) I feel like I am on autopilot. Going through my day with out actually participating in it.....

mmmmm...coffeee....

I would love to down a bunch of coffee or a caffeinated beverage however two things stand in my way...
One - I am still nursing and well I would not do that to my little man

Two - Caffeine does absolutely nothind for me. I can drink it and no effects...sucky huh??

So I am left with taking a shower to wake up at least part of me - eating some breakfast to get some energy - and getting on with my day....if you had read my lastest blog you would know that includes dropping Silly Pants off at preschool, & going to Target for food (and diapers!!) (Can't forget those today!!)

Why do we blog???

I found myself asking this question today while talking to Foxy today. She has finally started a blog - which I thought would be a great idea...I mean she does everything - and man I think her blogs could be quite hilarious!!

So on to answer the question.....

I blog for a few reasons - to rant (obviously!), to just get those random thoughts out of my head, & to just post things that may be going on around here. I did not start my blog to write down every days activities and events....That would be rather boring...

Example being

Monday - Drive Silly Pants to preschool, take Monkey & Mini C to target to get food
Tuesday - Do art project with boys, do laundry, clean up house

Wednesday - Drive Silly Pants to preschool, take Monkey & Mini C run errands

Thursday - Go to play area, zoo or other place to burn off energy (which never happens!)

Friday - Drive Silly Pants to preschool, take Monkey & Mini C to target to get food

I mean seriously who wants to read that?????Half the time I don't even want to do that same schedule!! (Can we say spontaneity??) not a very good option in our house hold on a week day. unless we spontaniously go to BF's - but thats not very spontanious either - we do it quite a bit=) love it

So as you can see on my previous blogs, I rant, rave, and pretty much show you all how crazy I am on a day to day basis....but isn't that real? Isn't that what's fun to read?? Isn't that just plain better?? It's me - unfiltered, unhinged & just me! take it or leave it, for better or worse....

now it's your turn - why do you blog?

P.S.

With that question I urge Foxy to step out of her comfort zone...start typing....start with something simple...let it all out!!! be true to you and don't hold it in - I want to know all that is going on!!! Rant, Rave, go insane!!! I will still Love you in the morning!

Brains anyone????

So I am a mom, I am a mom of 3 boys under 5, I am a mom who is most of the time fairly intelligent but seriously where is my brain!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Where did it go? Did I push so hard when delivering my boys that it actually left my body? Did they accidentally remove part of it when I had my appendectomy? Did it disintegrate while getting my hair done? Where did it go?

I used to be able to finish all my thoughts with out stopping to remember where I was going (Or where I had been) I was able to remember EVERYTHING (I can still remember a whole lot but not nearly the same) I was able to problem solve, walk, eat a sandwich & check my calendar. When did those days change??

I WILL TELL YOU - When I became a mom.
Now don't get me wrong - I LOVE being a mom, I love my boys, I love my life. But seriously was the loss of my brain the cost? Is that a fair exchange? Was that a fair swap? Who decided such a thing? I am not saying I wouldn't do it again - because I would. But how can one function and maintain these three boys with out a properly functioning brain? I just don't see how it is possible.

My most in depth conversations consist of the following topics -
Do you have to go stinky?
Get off your brothers head
No, You can't go outside with no pants on
Do you have to go stinky?
No jut because Curious George climbed the building - doesn't mean you can
Cake is not something you can have for breakfast (or lunch - or dinner) (Unless it's your bday!)
No you cannot cut your own apple
Where do you go stinky?
No don't poke Mini C - he is sleeping!
No the sky is not falling - and no the aliens did not drop a panel.
You have to ask Grandma for that
Come on - let's go stinky!
That's just a few

So if there is a day you call me, if I seem eager to talk (even though exhaustion is spewing from my side of the phone) please talk or at least say something that does not resemble the above mentioned topics - so that I may regain a fraction of what I have lost. Because I fear once I lose it all - I may not be able to regain it.........and what a sad sad day that will be......
So if I cannot remember to say it later.....Good bye - I have loved you all.......until a time when I may feel the joys of a good conversation......

In Laws...does it ever end???

Ok so now it starts...birthday season...holiday season...IN LAW season....now if you are reading this and don't exactly know me personally I will give you an over view as to the in law situation...
Meant the in laws (mainly mother) - she thought my sister was my daughter, she told me Husband couldn't put anything together, told husband that he shouldn't be marrying me, gave me a Lane Bryant gift card for my birthday, the list is truly endless (I mean I didn't even touch on my husbands sister....)...anyway

So Saturday night is when we are doing Husbands birthday dinner...BF, Prits, us & his parents will be there (Brother is at school & SIL has to work) In the past just thinking about his parents (mainly his mother) coming to our home makes my stomach turn and I start to feel sick (example anyone?? when I was 8 months pg with Silly Pants they came over for Christmas and I started having false contractions while she was here pounding down on Husband) So at least I am not PG right? (no comments from you BF) But I have gotten better in recent months - I have kept a phone conversation with her on more than one occasion and even went over there too....if you know me you know this is a feat for me...so why is it I am back to feeling horrible that they are coming??

Maybe it's because when they do come - they push aside our true family (by true I mean the ones that are there for us day in and day out, the ones that love us even though we are flawed, & who we can count on for anything) Maybe it's because it's all phony...I have married their son - yes it is true - but even though we have now been married for 5 years (holy crap 5??) I am still not looked apon as a member of that family. I am an outsider that has abducted their son, taken him from the Lord(hello people??? not to brag but he went back to church after he met me!) - the one they treated like crap, that they don't see as wonderful, the one they don't deserve to call theirs. Maybe it's because when we get a card for the both of us they ALWAYS write - Mom and Dad & Her and Him (you get the idea) .....who does that??? but then again we didn't get married in their catholic church so maybe they truly believe that we are not married...and which would then mean our children are bastards??? how does that sound??

Either way they will come, I will put on a smile, feed them, talk to them but know this - I will be so glad when they leave and it is back to our family once again.....

But the story doesn't end there - oh nope it doesn't....
So when we bought our house - I decided to be the preparer of Thanksgiving dinner!!! (ok BF wasn't thrilled at first but came around) So every year we invite them and nope they don't show up, they say that they are spending it with their family and they would rather we spend it with THEM not them spending it with US...ok???what the hell?? So that holiday goes wonderfully with just BF, Prits, Brother & SIL - the ones that matter....
Next is Christmas - so as most of you know..Christmas Eve is BF's birthday (no I won't post her age....oh but tempting...) so that day is HERs - only hers..we don't not do anything Christmas related on that day....you can not pay me any amount of money to do so. Just as husbands day is coming up and mine as well those are our days - as is December 24th is hers. So then Jesus' birthday is spent by us getting up, spending time with the boys and then heading over to Bf's house for a day of food, fun and family...it is always a good time and we are usually there for about 12 hours...I know!! kind of weird but it's the one day that it just doesn't seem that long...well at least not for us..you would have to ask BF how she feels about that one...
Ok so having said all that - I ALWAYS plan a special day when we can invite Husbands side of the family (when I say side I mean it..aunts, uncles, cousins all of them!) This has happened every year since we have been married and besides the first year, every year after his mother has directed the family to not come - because they feel again....that we should spend it with them not them with us??? seriously what the hell??? So again this year I will plan a party - and this year I will plan it even earlier with hopes that we get on peoples schedules in time and we can throw a good time for those people....

So the moral of the enormously long post...I will am going to have to grin bare it for the next few months to show that I am a good Christan woman, wife, & mother and that even though they are evil people filled with anger and bitterness - I am a good, happy, excited by my life woman that will not let their negative attitudes bring me or mine down! We are here for the Lord and by golly I will figure out a way to show that - even when I want to go in a hole and drink a bottle of merlot! So here's to the season!!!!!