Drained....

So the last 5 days have been emotionally, physically & mentally draining... Husbands grandfather was admitted into the hospital on Saturday morning and told he only had a week to live. So we decided that we would go to the hospital on Sunday, since we had a birthday party that we were going to and we had already planned on seeing him then anyway.
So we get home from the party Saturday night and there is a message from his brother and from his mom, he grandfather will most likely not make it through the night. We call Nurse Neighbor and she comes over so stay at the house while Silly Pants and Monkey sleep. We took Mini C with us - we just didn't know how long we were going to be gone for and didn't want him to wake up with out me.
We book it to the hospital - when we get there his eyes are closed and they say he hasn't been a wake in a while. Husband gets next to him and he just opens his eyes - it was so wonderful. Then he cracked a joke - "I'm not done yet huh?" It was so wonderful that Husband was able to have that last moment with him - he was that last one his grandfather set eyes upon.

We stayed at the hospital till 12:30am Sunday morning...needless to say we were both exhausted when the boys woke up that morning. We decided that to maintain normalcy in the house we would bring the boys to Sunday school and then go to the hospital after that when we dropped the boys at BF's house. Well I got a call from church saying Monkey had a big accident and was embarrassed (which is odd because he had never had one that big) So I decide to just get both boys and go back to BF's - When I get back Husband calls the hospital to let them know we are coming now - He had died at 10:30am - 15 minutes before he called. So we left right away to get to the hospital. This whole thing is new to me - and being they never liked me much anyway it made it even weirder - I was there but I know they didn't want me there, but I was there for Husband and Husband only - I don't know what to say, do or whatever. It is all new and slightly confusing. I know it is sad when someone dies - however shouldn't it be a happy time too? If the person gets to a nice old age (and was able to see their great-grandchildren) shouldn't there be some sort of happiness for them, knowing that they are going to be with our maker? I know that we are sad and selfishly wanting them to be with us - but wouldn't a better reaction be "Bastard got there first!" =)
I am not usually a very black & white person but I feel like to ME this is a black & white issue. As long as the people I care about live a nice long life - when they die, Yes I will be sad and miss them but at the same time I am going to be so overjoyed that I know they are with Our Lord and Savior, living in their perfect body and enjoy the heavenly eternal life. So I have been pretty much just staying quiet, I know that my own thoughts are not that of others and I would never intentionally say or do anything that would cause more saddness right now then there already is.
So even though I was not close with him, because Husband is so upset (rightfully so) I am finding myself drained and unable to maintain a clear thought either through this time.
What's next?
The wake & funeral - they are this week, thankfully I was able to nail down someone to watch the boys for both - a big thank you to BF & Happy Mama! At least I know that Silly Pants and Monkey will be happy and having fun. Mini C with of course be with us - but at least that will give me something to focus on - since no one in that family talks to me....
So for now I will just stay quiet and reserved (Yes me!) and help Husband get through this rough time....
There are a few other things to post on relating to this, but that will be another time....